Time is a precious gift

Time just fly by so fast, ain't it? It's one of life's resource that seems to be too precious for me right now. Three months have passed since I last posted here in my blog. And yes, it's time to get my fingers workin' again.

First up, I'd like to thank God for taking me on a rollercoaster ride this 2010. The year gave me a generous serving of heartaches but nevertheless been kind and fruitful. For 2011, I'm ready to learn and grow more. Research, exploration and experimentation were sort of my addiction since childhood.

After I fully committed myself to breastfeeding, I'm glad to say I'm living up to my vows. More than a month since I got back to work, I still EXCLUSIVELY BREASTFEED my 4 month old baby girl. I feel much fulfilled whenever I lay down at night knowing I maximized my role as a mother, wife and a carrer-woman. It's tough sometimes especially when I do field work like outdoor photoshoots and media rounds. But then, stubborn as I am, I usually find a way to make things work for me. Good thing, I researched and bought all the things I'll be needing when I go back to work. Among my trusty "breastfriends" are my breastpump, milk storage bottles and my super reliable FRIDGE-TO-GO. For a more realistic approach, my target period for exclusive breastfeeding is until my baby's 6 months old. I know in God's grace, I can still continue beyond that even if I do mixed feeding (combination of breastmilk and infant formula).

It's also true that kids grow up so fast. Though Eve (my first-born child) still dances like a baby, she is undeniably ready for school. After she went to summer school, waking up every morning with Eve would mean endless dialogue on why she won't be able to go to school yet. I was pregnant then that's why her dad and I decided Eve will start studying come June of 2011 (here in the Philippines, our school year starts in June).

At the age of 4, the idea of studying excites Eve. Going to school would mean meeting a lot of friends, more playtime, more ABC's and 1, 2, 3's and according to her, "more drawing". As she is fond of working on objects, figures, shapes and people in her drawings, I figured her strength is in visual arts. Guilty-mom is what I call myself that's why I sometimes shower her with artsy toys/tools to stimulate her creativity.

2010 also taught me to value relationships. We lost 4 of our relatives this year. 1 from an accident and 3 from illness. My heart aches for the death of my cousin, aunts and grandmother. Then again, our loss is heaven's gain. I know they're now happy up there though their presence is greatly missed down here.

Deaths in our family made me seek for a better relationship with my parents. It's now my turn to take good care of them since I won't be this person if not for their love. Their one of my top priorities this coming year. I'm also praying that God shower them with good health so they can appreciate old age with their lovely grandchildren.

 

 

Morning Bliss

Mornings for me are sacred. It’s the time of the day when you get to wait and watch your little angel slowly open up her eyes. It’s when you get to feel the warm snuggle of your still asleep hubby. It’s when you get to thank the Lord for another day, another week.

Since I live just 10 minutes away from my workplace, I have the luxury of getting the most out of my morning free time with Eve and Gab. Wakey time for the three of us means playtime before breakfast, cuddle cadoodles and kiss squeezes (picture Eve between me and Gab as we both kiss her on the cheek until she feels squeezed). I love how Eve smiles whenever she sees her dad and I hug or kiss. I simply get the vibes that she feels secure with the sight of her parents show their affection in a "wholesome", kid-friendly way.

After maybe 20-30 minutes of kulitan, we go downstairs for a hearty breakfast. Eve is the life of our mealtimes. She always manages to make us laugh with her innocent remarks and responses.

One time, she was at the living room and I had to call her and shout from the dining area as I’m about to get late. She immediately said, "Mom, don’t shoouut!" Then i said, "ok little girl, no more shouting for mommy. I’m sorry!" Whenever I remember this scene, it never fails to make me smile. She’s really growing up....so fast.

Oh, how I love mornings!!!

Mommy wants Eve's DS lite

The original title of this post is actually ‘Eve and her DS Lite’ but a realization suddenly struck me. So read on so you’ll get the rationale behind the selfish title above.

Our relative from the US sent Eve a Nintendo DS Lite just a few weeks ago. Her dad, being a video game geek, loaded the console with a number of cool games. Eve quickly got her way thru using the DS since she loves tinkering with the stylus that comes with it. She particularly likes the game Sally Salon and Cooking Mama. It’s entertaining to watch her solve the challenges without getting frustrated. One try didn’t stop her to reach a higher game level. I also appreciate when she asks for either me or her dad for help everytime she gets confused with instructions.

Although she has her DS to play with, her painting, coloring and block-building activities aren’t forgotten and is still part of her daily play routine.

I got to experience DS during my lax time after office and surely, it’s addicting. I remembered when I was still in highschool, I got hooked with playing computer games in the weekends. The likes of Counterstrike, Ragnarok, Sims, and Battle of Realms were the games that I’ve taken interest in. I used to play from sun up to sun down with my meals being taken on the couch beside the computer.

This time feels different. I don’t have the luxury to waste time for computer games when I should rather spend it actually playing cuddle cadoodle with Eve and her dad. I shake off the feeling of self-pity everytime I feel deprived of the things I could get if only I’m single. Being a young mom, I also struggle with thoughts of wanting to experience what it could be like if I only spend for myself.

But seeing my little doll is enough for me not to regret anything that happened in my life. Her bright eyes and infectious smile is God’s answer to my senseless doubts and fears. With Eve, I don’t need a cheat code just to get her to laugh. I don’t need to level up just to gain her affection, hugs and kisses. The high feeling you get when you finish a video game is incomparable with the contentment in your heart just by knowing you’ve spent quality and quantity time with the person that matters most in your life.

Time

As I watch her sleep, I can't help but regret the times I haven't been with her.

Instead of a day spent cooking for her favorite meal or a painting session at the garage, I am at the office rendering my services to one of the country's top corporation. I handle PR work for the branch and write about the company's events, promotions and csr projects, etc. Part of my job description entails me to establish and maintain a good relationship with the local government and the media.

Yet, it feels like it's my relationship with my daughter and husband that needs more nourishing.

Having been so absorbed lately at work, it kills me to admit I am already taking them for granted.

My little girl is growing up so fast. Only the length of her pajamas tell me I already lost track of her height measurement. I hate it when it's her yaya who tells me of her little but clap-worthy achievements like returning her cups in the ref or that she can already draw shapes familiar to her.

I can't help but remember when Eve was still a baby. I love the way she needed me for I am her only source of food (she's a breastfed baby). I love how her tiny fingers grasp my pinkie as if to say "I'll never let you go mommy". I love her peaceful face everytime she falls asleep on my chest as if my heartbeat is her only lullaby.

They say there are no perfect mothers. Though I feel inadequate, I'm trying to be the best mom for my precious daughter. I will never cease to give all the love, care and most important of all--time to the the one person who made me realize God is good. With the things I have no control of, I lay it all to Him. May He lead us to the path he planned for us.