Time

As I watch her sleep, I can't help but regret the times I haven't been with her.

Instead of a day spent cooking for her favorite meal or a painting session at the garage, I am at the office rendering my services to one of the country's top corporation. I handle PR work for the branch and write about the company's events, promotions and csr projects, etc. Part of my job description entails me to establish and maintain a good relationship with the local government and the media.

Yet, it feels like it's my relationship with my daughter and husband that needs more nourishing.

Having been so absorbed lately at work, it kills me to admit I am already taking them for granted.

My little girl is growing up so fast. Only the length of her pajamas tell me I already lost track of her height measurement. I hate it when it's her yaya who tells me of her little but clap-worthy achievements like returning her cups in the ref or that she can already draw shapes familiar to her.

I can't help but remember when Eve was still a baby. I love the way she needed me for I am her only source of food (she's a breastfed baby). I love how her tiny fingers grasp my pinkie as if to say "I'll never let you go mommy". I love her peaceful face everytime she falls asleep on my chest as if my heartbeat is her only lullaby.

They say there are no perfect mothers. Though I feel inadequate, I'm trying to be the best mom for my precious daughter. I will never cease to give all the love, care and most important of all--time to the the one person who made me realize God is good. With the things I have no control of, I lay it all to Him. May He lead us to the path he planned for us.

My Take on Diabetes in the family

It’s just now that I had the courage to write about the illness in our family that already took away 3 of my aunts and a few more of our relatives. In a short span of time, my father’s three sisters died because of complications from diabetes. Now, my mom’s only sister has it and I have been praying hard for her condition to get better.
Since I became a mom, I overreact at the littlest things that affect my daughter’s health. With Eve, a minor case of fever would make me stay up 24 hours just to make sure her temperature gets down to normal. She only has two pairs of shorts because I always make her wear a pajama so she wouldn’t get bruised from playing or get bitten by insects. Her pedia and dentist appointments are included in our yearly agenda. I am proud to brag that I breastfed her exclusively for 10 months. If only I wasn’t diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, I would have pursued breastfeeding until she’s 2 or 3 years old. When it comes to Eve, health is one of my priorities.
Yesterday was my aunt’s (my mom’s older sister) 71st birthday. I am so thankful that God had been generous for loaning her to us. She’s like a second mom to me and my siblings. It’s been a while since I last visited her. Though we live in a compound, I seldom drop by at their house because I was so preoccupied with work lately. Yesterday’s visit made me slow down my pace. Think things through.
Seeing my aunt so fragile is like seeing my mom 12 years from now. The chronic condition has taken a toll on her appearance. She’s a vague picture of the vibrant woman I used to know. Beside her bed, I looked stupid. I wanted to make her feel better but I felt helpless. I tried to talk to her but she just stared at me blankly. All I did was to kiss her, touch her hair and hand. I wore a mask that night because I had to hide the sadness that tears me until now.
Still, I saw the fighter in her. She’s struggling with the difficulty of her illness but she’s hanging on. Little by little, her body is deteriorating yet her courage is soaring. My aunt can’t walk anymore and it made me realize it’s now my turn to take her on a stroll. She can’t speak but I know she listens as I share Eve’s achievements. I’m not sure if she remembers me but for every gentle touch I lay on her face, she closes her eyes deeply as if saying "Hmmm, that feels good".
I wouldn’t be able to alter the fact that diabetes is in our family. But its never too late for me to start our lifestyle modification. I am thankful for the available resources that’ll keep me educated on how to prevent my children from acquiring or developing diabetes. Aware that she is also at high-risk, my own mom is currently practicing a healthy routine which includes an hour of brisk-walking in the morning, 30-minute aerobics exercise before noon and a dose of optimism to keep her going. Although sometimes her appetite lures her into food temptation, she manages to balance it with fruits and vegetables. As for my daughter and husband, I still need to revise a meal plan that is sure to keep us all healthy and away from the killer diabetes.

On baby essentials: What do I really need?

I’m currently in my second trimester of pregnancy and itching to buy baby stuff already. Having experienced to buy almost everything (from baby essentials to cute lil nothings) I see in a baby boutique during my first pregnancy, I learned now that you only need to stick to the basics. Why? It is because kids grow up really fast!!
I believe every parent has a different style of bringing up their little ones, I would like to share mine.

When I was pregnant with Eve (my first-born daughter), its a good thing I invested in a sturdy playpen, breast pump, a Safety First Tub and a sterilizer. I also opted for cloth diapers until Eve was 6 months old because I’d rather have a pile of laundry to do than watch my baby suffer from UTI and diaper rash. My hubby and I also decided not to buy a crib because we want our baby to sleep between us. Likewise, it was convenient since I exclusively breastfeed her then.

On my list for my second baby shopping are:

A new breastpump. My previous pump was borrowed by a relative but wasn’t returned anymore. Most probably, I’ll look for an Avent Isis which will be ideal if I intend to breastfeed even if I’m already back at work.

A breastfeeding pillow for extra comfort and more snuggle time w/ baby when nursing.

A durable diaper bag. I bought 2 bags from Baby Couture before and both can’t withstand the wear and tear. I’m trying the:Nine West Baby Love Messenger Diaper Bag

or the LeSportsac Patent Ryan Baby Bag

A bed rail. Since Eve is used to sleep beside me, a bed rail will keep us all safe.

Perhaps I’ll also consider buying a Snuggle Nest so I wouldn’t worry about the baby getting suffocated by me or hubby or Eve.

I think that's basically all I need right now. Besides, baby still has lots of pedia visits and shots to go to so might as well just save up for that.

Learning how to scream

I envy kids. They have the most genuine actions and reactions. Adults tend to mask their feelings for whatever reason they may have. Maybe because older people care more and think more about the consequences of their acts. They think too much...that sometimes, without realizing it, they forget what it is like to really feel. I think "stiff" is the word for it......
Screaming 101First, deeply inhale (like you're about to submerge yourself in the water for a long time). Then with a contorted face, blurt out all the words you have been meaning to say (be sure to mean what you say).Then walk away and go for a long run to ease the guilt.Yesterday, I suddenly felt the strong urge to scream...until the veins in my neck would wana snap.I know the screaming process. But i guess something's missing to give it a go... I think "guts" is the word for it.....

Guerilla Gardening

With parents having the knack for growing anything green (except marijuana!lol), I have been wanting to start a garden of my own. Given the limited space in our home, perhaps herbal plants in pots will suit me best. I used the term guerilla gardening because i wanted to transform a portion of our unused space into a bountiful area of fruit-bearing & herbal plants. But of course, before anything else, I should do my homework, research and find contacts which will all be helpful in making my first step in gardening.





That's me at the center (5th from left ) together with Ms. Cristie Angeles of SM Foundation and the Bulacan farmers during the Harvest Festival in San Ildefonso





One of the perks of being in public relations is it allows me to meet various people with different interests. During a Farm Festival, I got to interact with the local farmers from different towns in Bulacan. A joint project of SM Foundation, the Provincial Government of Bulacan and the Department of Agriculture, a training program on High-Value Crops was conducted to provide a sustainable livelihood program to marginalized farmers. The program includes new techniques on seedling cultivation, land preparation, pest control, ground management, accounting, harvesting and marketing.
I wonder if after I'm satisfied with herbal planting would I ever consider veggie farming... Well, I'll take it one step at a time, who knows, in 5 years I'm already picking organic veggies from my own garden. Wink*